For the first time in about two years, I have uploaded pictures from my camera. In the past, I may have been a wee bit negligent about doing so, to the extent that *some people* might refer to any pictures I take as being lost to the void of despair and nothingness forever.

Ahem.

What this means is that now I have lots of pictures of events taking place since I got my new camera three weeks ago, including, but not limited to: my trip with my parents to NYC (featuring The Rock), a slumber party with Sarah Cross, and (drum roll please)... HALLOWEEN. As I am a huge Halloween person, this makes me very happy. And if any of you are Halloween people, I hope that it will make you happy, too. For Halloween proper, I was a dark faery and spent the evening hanging out with a pirate, Rainbow Brite, and a (male) Care Bear. But on Halloween Eve (night before Halloween, obvi), I was an 80's aerobics instructor who had the bad luck to be attacked by zombies and subsequently zombified while wearing her neon yellow aerobics gear. Which would sound completely random, were it not for the fact that I spent the night at ZOMBIE PROM.

Pause for a moment to take in the awesomeness of that, my friends. Zombie. Prom. And, yes, there is a slight chance that the whole aerobics instructor bit is still random (compared to the zombies who just came in prom gear), but the lovely Professor Zombie who was throwing aforementioned Zombie Prom specially requested that I put together an aerobics instructor outfit, and as she just got Zombie Tenure (also: real tenure), who was I to deny her such a small thing?

What follows is an endeavor of high photojournalistic quality- and given that this is ZOMBIE prom, it is not for the faint of heart.

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I said I was going to do a writing blog this week, but it looks like I'll probably be doing *multiple* writing blogs, since I am apparently incapable of answering questions in short-form. Today's question comes from abbydarling, who asked:

How do you come up with names for supporting characters that only appear briefly in your story? Or how about character names in general? Do they just come to you? Do you ever change them once you're in the middle of your story?

I tend to be very particular about naming characters, because I think there’s a certain power in naming something. It’s rare that I would be in a situation where I was coming up with a name for an otherwise fully fleshed out character; it’s actually the reverse- finding the right name helps me figure out who a character is. In my process, choosing a name usually happens after I have the general gist of who I want the character to be (a sarcastic tomboy, a girly girl with bite, the logical child in a family of over-the-top siblings, etc), but before I really know the character as a person beyond the general niche that they might fill. As a result, I fully believe that the name I pick for a character ends up influencing who that character becomes. If Bailey from Tattoo and Fate had been a “Kaitlin” or a “Sophie,” she would have probably ended up being a very different person, and as a result, Tattoo and Fate would have ended up being very different books.

As a result, I never really start writing a book until I have the perfect name for the main character, because until I name them, I have no idea who they really are. In terms of finding names, I’m a pretty hardcore name collector. When I meet people, I often end up asking if they have siblings and what all of their names are (it's a better icebreaker than you might think). If I see a cool name somewhere, I write it in document I have entitled “good names.” Every month, my mother sends me her church bulletin, so I can see the names of all the babies that have been baptized in our (rather sizable) church at home. Some names are just waiting for the right character: for example, my dental hygienist has a step-daughter named Kyler. I think it’s an incredibly cool name. Someday, there will be a Kyler in one of my books- as soon as I find a character who fits it.

When I’m stuck, I use baby name sites online. Nymber is one of my very favorite sites- it allows you to type in a bunch of example names that you like, and it generates similar names that you might also consider. This is incredibly helpful for naming characters if I have a name that’s just almost right, but not quite there yet. Or (as is becoming more common) if the only name I can think of for a character is too close to something I’ve already used. I have a real problem with wanting to name at least one character in every book “James” (see also: Lissy and Lexie’s last name in Golden; the love interest’s name in Fate). I’ve also had to prevent myself from re-using Dylan, Cade, Jonah, and Jack, and after writing a Lilah and a Delia, I vetoed the use of Delilah for a character who the name otherwise would have fit really well. With the Nymbler site, I can go and type in all of the names I can’t use, and it will give me similar names that I can (the wannabe Delilah became an Ariana, which was the one of the first suggestions it gave me when I typed in the alternate names).

In general, I’m slightly less picky about names for supporting characters. I can’t imagine changing my main character’s name in a rewrite, but I’ve changed a variety of supporting characters’ names at different points in the process, for a variety of reasons.

+ Zo in the Tattoo books was originally Bo, but I decided to change the first letter of her name so that it didn’t start with the same letter as narrator Bailey’s. There were a couple of scenes where they were being referred to as “Bay” and “Bo,” and that was a little cutesy for me.

+ Brock in Golden and Platinum was originally named Cale (short for Caleb), but his name got changed when I figured out that Lilah’s other love interest was a ghost who I just HAD to name Cade.

+ Bubbles in The Squad series was “Baby” for approximately three chapters until I decided that Bubbles fit a million times better (and didn’t have the Dirty Dancing implications).

+ Zee in The Squad series was originally a Zoe, but I decided that (a) having a Zoe and a Chloe in one book was a No Go, and (b) since I’d already written a Zoe who went by Zo, I couldn’t reuse the name.

+ Fuchsia in the Golden series was originally a character I just could not think of a good name for- so I gave her a placeholder name (which was also the color of her aura), thinking that I’d go back and give her a better name later. And then I kind of forgot to go back, and my editor and agent both loved that her name was Fuchsia, so I ultimately decided to leave it.

Beyond the whole “I’ll change minor character names for pragmatic reasons, but in general think that the act of naming influences who the character becomes” thing, I have two other noticeable quirks when it comes to naming characters: the first is that I’m a total sucker for nicknames. The main character of Golden goes pretty strictly by Lissy, but it’s short for Felicity. Her sister is Lexie (Alexis). Zo in Tattoo is really Zoe-Claire, and the protagonist of Raised By Wolves (due out next summer) is a Bronwyn who goes by Bryn.

My other quirk is that my characters’ middle names almost always show up in the text somewhere- usually in the first couple of chapters. Lissy is Felicity Shannon. Bailey is Bailey Marie. Toby is Toby Guinevere. And Bryn’s full name is a mouthful- she’s Bronwyn Alessia, her original last name was St. Vincent, and once she was adopted into the pack, she also took on the last name Clare (and the book in fact opens with the words “Bronwyn Alessia St. Vincent Clare!”).

So, there you go, abbydarling. I think that's pretty much everything to know about my process for naming characters! Writers, feel free to sound off in the comments and weigh in with your own tips and quirks. Readers, I'd love to hear what your favorite names-you've-read-in-a-book are. And if you have a question about writing, ask away and I'll try to do more writing blogs soon.

I'm working on a writing post to answer your questions from yesterday, but in the meantime, I thought I would allow you all a peak into what it's like when two writers get on the phone with each other to talk revision. I cannot swear that this is what all revision conversations sound like, but this seems to be the general pattern that emerges in mine.

Revision: A Dramatization

In this scene, BFF Ally will be playing the role of the charming and fabulous Ally “I may dump George Clooney for the guy who plays Finn in Glee” Carter, author of the Gallagher Girl series. I will be playing the role of moral support.

** phone rings**

ME: Hello.
ALLY: Hey. It’s me.
ME: Hey. What’s up?
ALLY: Oh, just working on GG4. How are you?
ME: I’m good. How’s GG4 going?
ALLY: … *sound of head thwacking repeatedly against desk*...
Me: That good, huh? Let’s talk it through…

THIS PORTION OF THE CONVERSATION OMITTED BECAUSE IT CONTAINS GG4 SPOILERS

ALLY: I can tell it’s getting late, because you’re getting hyper.
ME: I have no idea what you’re talking about. I am the very picture of logic and decorum. And I have a thought.
ALLY: Let’s hear it.
ME: You know that scene we were just talking about? I think I’ve identified the problem.
ALLY: Ooohhh, what is it?
ME: Is Zach wearing a shirt?
ALLY: Yes…
ME: PROBLEM!
ALLY: Uhhh…
ME: Are Zach and Cammie making out?
ALLY: In this scene? N-
ME: PROBLEM!
ALLY: Now you’re just being ridiculous.
ME: I resent your implications, Missy.

GIGGLES AND COMMISERATION ABOUT THE FACT THAT WRITING IS HARD ENSUE.

ALLY: Do I have to write this book?
ME: No.
ALLY: Are you lying to me?
ME: Yes.
ALLY: Lot of help you are.
ME: I can be help!
Ally: *skeptical silence*
ME: Watch me be helpful! Technically speaking, you just have to turn in a Gallagher Girls book. It doesn’t have to be this book.
ALLY: What?
ME: Instead of writing book four, just rewrite books 1-3 and insert vampires. You can call the first one I’D TELL YOU I LOVE YOU, BUT THEN I’D HAVE TO KILL YOU BECAUSE I’M A VAMPIRE. Instant bestseller!

ALLY DISSOLVES INTO RIOTOUS LAUGHING

ME: I summarize book for you! The Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women is actually a boarding school for spies. Who are also vampires. VAMPIRES WHO ARE SPIES.

**End Scene**

I take my role as moral support and general cheerleader very seriously, which means that sometimes I actually am helpful in talking out plot points and conflict (for example, for those of you who have read Don't Judge A Girl By Her Cover, Aunt Abby was invented while Ally and I were baking muffins and we chatted enough to realize that she wasn't just one of Rachel's friends from school- she was her sister!). But sometimes, moral support is spelled c-o-m-i-c-r-e-l-i-e-f, and so I give you EXHIBIT A.

Exhibit A

I don't usually post teasers (especially for works in progress), but I've been toggling back and forth between about five different projects lately (revisions on one book, a couple of first drafts, and two TV pilots), so I figured that I could find something to post. And so I give you a teeny tiny little bit of my untitled YA chick lit superhero WIP. I'm about 130 pages in, but make no guarantees that it will ever see the light of day.

Enjoy!

***

My mother’s job is to get me into trouble. Mine is to keep her out of it. I’m better at my job than she is at hers, but only slightly.

“Come on, Kiki. Loosen up and live a little!”

Some people’s definition of “living a little” might involve diving head-first off the Statue of Liberty into the middle of a police stand-off with two terrorists, a radioactive bobcat, and a battalion of minor supervillains. To some people, that might very well seem like a good idea.

Suffice to say, however, I am not one of those people.


***

Happy Tuesday, all! And good luck to those of you doing NaNo. If you have writing questions that you'd like answered, leave them in the comments and I'll do a writing post later this week.

This past weekend, I went to New York. My parents and I went shopping and saw The Lion King. I visited FAO Schwartz and cuddled all of the stuffed animals (let's hope none of them had swine flu, or else I'm doomed). I also got a new camera and will be uploading pictures of my adventures shortly (there's a particularly fetching one of my dad holding a stuffed meerkat that may soon become the wallpaper on my desktop. And also, a picture of The Rock, who was filming stunts outside of our apartment. He is enormous). But first, I have other exciting pictures to share!

On Monday, I went to visit my editor and the other fine folks at Egmont USA. And while I was there, I obtained advanced copies of a variety of awesome upcoming YA and middle grade fantasy/supernatural books, including my very own RAISED BY WOLVES.


Pictured: Raised by Wolves, The False Princess by Eilis O'Neil, The Rise of Renegade X by Chelsea Campbell, Shadow Hills by Anastasia Hopcus, and Siren by Tricia Rayburn

For WOLVES, the cover you can (almost) see in this picture isn't the final one- it's just a placeholder while we work with the cover artist on a few other ideas. But since I'm not showing you the full front cover, I will take you inside of the book instead. Behold, the title page!



And the back cover copy from the ARC (with no guarantees that it will appear on the final book).

PACK LIFE IS ABOUT ORDER, BUT BRYN IS ABOUT TO PUSH ALL THE LIMITS, WITH HAIR-RAISING RESULTS.

At the age of four, Bryn watched a rabid werewolf brutally murder her parents. Alone in the world, she was rescued and taken in by Callum, the alpha of his pack. Now fifteen, Bryn's been raised as a human among werewolves, adhering to pack rule (mostly). Little fazes her.

But the pack's been keeping a secret, and when Bryn goes exploring against Callum's orders, she finds Chase, a newly turned teen Were locked in a cage. Terrifying memories of the attack on her mom and dad come flooding back. Bryn needs answers, and she needs Chase to get them. Suddenly, all allegiances to the pack no longer matter. It's Bryn and Chase against the werewolf world, whatever the consequences.

An exciting new paranormal adventure, with a heroine who rivals Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Raised By Wolves will leave you howling for more.

In my effort to recuperate from the fun-but-exhausting cognition conference I went to this weekend, I have spent the evening vegging out and watching TV. My plans for the rest of the night include making Velveeta Easy Mac, which is one of the Best Things Ever (particularly if you are a lazy and culinarily disinclined graduate student), taking a bath with a Lush bath bomb (also a BTE), and then sleeping for at least ten hours straight. Tomorrow is my twenty-sixth* birthday, and I intend to be well-rested. But before my night of relaxation and sloth, I give you Deep Thoughts.

Or possibly not so deep. You be the judge.

After watching the last couple episodes of both Vampire Diaries and Supernatural, I have realized that a mathematical equation exists, such that CELL PHONES + PARANORMAL CREATURES = FUNNY. The actor who plays uber-angel Castiel in Supernatural managed to deliver the line "Dean, this is serious. The voice says I'm running out of minutes!" like it was a sign of the impending apocalypse, and the only thing in funnier than Evil Vampire Damon repeatedly calling Stoic and Slightly Boring Vampire Stefan on his cell phone and bitching him out like they weren't, you know, hundreds of years old and completely inhuman- is Evil Vampire Damon and Misunderstood Train Wreck Vicky dancing around the Vampire Mansion in full-on slumber party mode. Seriously, I expected them to bust out the Girl Talk and Mall Madness, or else crash an awesomely eighties sweet sixteen party a la Sarah Jessica Parker, Helen Hunt, and wee Shannen Doherty in Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

If the universe really wanted to give me a happy birthday, there would be a giant television crossover event entitled VAMPIRE SLUMBER PARTY, wherein Vicky and Damon would call up Spike from Buffy and Pam from the Sookie Stackhouse books**, and they would have wacky sleepover adventures including but not limited to playing Chubby Bunny and T.P.-ing the Cullens' front lawn.***

No pressure, universe. I'm just saying, it would be nice.

*Old.

**I like True Blood a lot, but having seen only season 1, I love book-Pam infinitely more than her on-screen counterpart. Any vampire who can make reference to It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown has to be invited to Vampire Slumber Party for sure.

***My apologies to the Cullens, as I'm actually fond of most of them, but come on. It would be seriously funny. And afterwards, the party can go toilet paper Angel's place, too.

It's that time of year again, and I'm currently debating the pros and cons of various Halloween costumes. I love, love, love dressing up (hence the fact that I need to come up with a plan or plans soon, so as to best execute them), and am currently brainstorming options. It occured to me that that as long as I was brainstorming, I might as well open it up for discussion and tap into the creativity of the blogverse!

Last year, I had two costumes. During the day, I dressed up like a giraffe, and at night, my roommate and I went as Artemis and Aphrodite.

Giraffe!!


Artemis

This year, I'm looking at a couple of new options, reviving some old favorites, and am also open to suggestions.

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Roommate and I are going shopping on Wednesday to start the costume-making process, and before then, I need at least three or four more ideas. Which leads me to the following questions, blog-readers.

1. What are you going as for Halloween?
2. What was your favorite costume ever?
3. Do you have opinions as to what I should dress up as?

I'm dying to hear your answers!

A couple of days ago, I read two blog entries that talked about people giving Dan Brown and his new book THE LOST SYMBOL a hard time- and specifically, thoughts about other WRITERS critiquing popular books or tearing them down, and for me, that segued into a discussion of parodies. I don't get warm, fuzzy feelings if I see one writer tearing down another book in a particularly vicious way in a public venue, and if I read in an interview that one prominent writer has made some sort of disparaging comment about the talent (or lack thereof) or appeal (or lack their of) of another writer, I generally have a "Was that really necessary?" type reaction.

Intelligent critique is one thing; a scathing or even mean-spirited review from a reviewer or a reader is one thing; frank discussions between friends are one thing, but blatant, public bashing or anything that feels venomous from one professional to another, just isn't my thing. And I sometimes get upset by the fact that there's this idea out there that once you reach a certain level of success, you give up the right to be treated with the same kind of respect with which anyone else would normally be treated.

But.

I love parodies.

Love them, love them, love them. It would never even OCCUR to me to put even the most scathing parody in the same mental category as bashing. So when I read a blog entry over the weekend that grouped a Dan Brown parody in with, for example, a list made by a group of writers of the "twenty worst sentences" lifted straight from the pages of the book, I did a total double take. And I spent a lot of time really thinking about why these things seemed so different to me, when to other people, they were exactly the same. Here's what I've come up with, for what it's worth.

Observation One: I do not, as a general rule, enjoy reading diatribes about how the things that I like suck and you'd have to be stupid (or alternatively, young and female, which people sometimes use as a proxy to mean the same thing) to like them- but I sometimes love reading parodies of books, movies, or TV shows that I have a great deal of affection for. I frequently read the Television Without Pity recaps for HEROES and SUPERNATURAL, and those are two of my favorite shows. I was one of the people who actually enjoyed the sixth Harry Potter movie, but I think my friend Sarah's parody of it is the single funniest thing I've read in the last sixth months. I thought the video mash-up of Buffy and Twilight was brilliant, even though I'm a fan of both.

Observation Two: I can't imagine feeling very good myself if I read that another author had gone on the record as saying that they thought I couldn't write worth a darn, but if I stumbled across a well-done parody of my own stuff, I think there's at least a good chance that I'd be able to laugh at it.

To me, parodies are meant to be humorous first and critiques second. I think the right person could write a hilarious parody of almost anything, regardless of how "good" or "bad" the source material was. I, in fact, think it would be harder to parody something that was obviously horrendously and altogether bad than something that was sometimes kind of at least a little bit good, because the point of parody is to make things MORE extreme and FUNNIER and MORE RIDICULOUS, and if the source material is bad enough to begin with, there's no fun in parodying it. When I say that I like parodies, what I really mean is that I like good parodies. And for the most part, good parodies don't leave me thinking "Wow, that book/movie/episode SUCKED" so much as they leave me thinking "gosh, that was funny."

I also think that something that is true of both parodies and harsh criticism is more easily understood from a gut level with regards to parody: it's not about the person BEHIND the work; it's about the work. When, as an author, I read a bad review, it's about the BOOK, and there's a difference between me and the book. Both as a reader and as a writer, this difference somehow seems more salient to me when the work itself is being parodied into a new work.

So what do you guys think? Are you pro or anti parody? If you're a writer, how would you feel to see your work parodied? As a reader, do you enjoy parodies of source material that you actually liked, or am I completely alone there?

Two new book recs for those of you who dig YA books with a supernatural twist, Rosemary Clement-Moore's THE SPLENDOR FALLS, and Amanda Marrone's DEVOURED. I'll disclaim upfront that I've met and adored Rosemary, and Amanda and I have a history of hanging out in Connecticut and doing events together and I adore her, too... but that doesn't make either of these books any less awesome.

The Splendor Falls



All Sylvie Davis knows how to do is dance. Her entire life has been built around her love and dedication to ballet, and at sixteen, it looks like it's paying off, as she becomes the youngest principal dancer in the country's biggest ballet troupe. And then, just like that, it all goes away, leaving Sylvie nursing a debilitating injury and trying to find out who she is without dancing. Sylvie's journey to self-discovery takes place at her "ancestral home," an old, Southern plantation that she knows next to nothing about. Getting to know her deceased father's family is only the beginning, because Sylvie's beginning to suspect that either she's going crazy, or she's inherited more from her father than a trust fund.

This book had so many of my favorite things! Ballet? Check. Quippy, sarcastic narrator? Check. Supernatural elements woven against the backdrop of everyday teen life? Check. Atmospheric Southern ambiance? Check, check, check! The ghostly elements to the plot are subtle and unique. The love interest is absolutely dreamy (and has a British accent! Welsh, specifically). Sylvie's sarcastic voice, and the very real pain she's in now that her life has been turned upside down, were incredibly well-done. I loved.


Devoured



Amanda Marrone is on my automatic-buy list- this is her third book, following on the heels of UNINVITED and REVEALERS, and I love how Amanda brings something different to the urban fantasy genre. Reading her books, you never feel like you're reading something that's already been done, even if she's playing with common creatures like vampires or witches.

In DEVOURED, ghosts take center stage, but these aren't your typical UF ghosts- they're creepy. Seriously creepy, violent, tragic, and half a step away from horror-movie ready. The way that the horror elements are interwoven with a realistic teen voice and fun characters felt very fresh. And as if that's not enough, the book is set against the backdrop of a Disneyland like theme park with a fairy tale theme, and the book is sprinkled with everything from curses and mythological creatures to major players from the original Snow White. Amanda does such a great job at mixing scary and funny, trivial and tragic. This is my favorite of her books so far.

And that's it for today! Realistic fiction recs coming later this week, if people are interested.

XOXO,

Jen (does that sign off make me feel like Gossip Girl, or what?)

On Monday, I went into NYC to hang out with Sarah Cross. We are forever in search of a new secret lair in the city (our old secret lair became both less secret and less lair-like a while back). We have attempted, but failed to lair-ize parts of the Met; this week, we explored another option. While assessing the lair's potential, we saw: the world's fattest porcupine (no kidding, this thing was the size of a turkey), teeny tiny baby tamarin monkeys, four rambunctious meerkats, and a very repetitive otter. Animals we did not see included the snakes (because I have a hard-core phobia and almost died just KNOWING they were nearby, even though I couldn't see them) and the spider monkey (because it was hiding). I was really sad about not seeing the spider monkey, because I had this master plan about how I was going to name it Bella.

~*~

The above is how I separate sections when I'm writing. I indicate chapter breaks with a page break, but use the ~*~ combo when there's a break within chapters. For some reason, doing so brings me a disproportionate amount of joy.

~*~

How excited am I about the fact that Diablo Cody is adapting Sweet Valley High for the big screen? That would be very. In addition to Christopher Pike (whose Last Vampire series has been recently reissued as "THIRST"- sweet!) and the Babysitters Club, Sweet Valley pretty much was my childhood. While I am slightly more fond of the later novels (like, for instance, #100 where there was a third girl who looked exactly like the twins, only she was a psychopath who killed her way across North America before attempting to murder one of the twins and take over her life, or the sequel to that masterpiece, where it was revealed that the psychopathic doppleganger in fact had an identical twin of her own, who was also crazy and slightly evil, and they tried to kill BOTH of the twins and take over BOTH of their lives), I'm still really excited to see what the writer of Juno does with vintage Sweet Valley. I'm also psyched to see who they cast in the supporting roles- especially the role of poor little rich girl Lila Fowler, who (confession time) might be the reason that the More Than a Mean Girl narrator of PLATINUM is named Lilah.

~*~

I'm supposed to get cover comps for RAISED BY WOLVES early next week. I've been on pins and needles since the photo shoot last month and am so super excited to see what the designer has come up with. I'll report back, as soon as I can.

And speaking of Raised By Wolves, it's now up on amazon (no cover, no cover copy, but still!).

After watching the premiere of the new Melrose Place, I was left in a state best described as "huh?" There was plenty of action- murder! med students becoming prostitutes! an engagement! blackmail! and more blackmail! and so on, and so forth... and still, I found myself getting bored. Upon reflection, I've decided that this is an artifact of Too Much Crazy, Too Soon. The best Crazy Shows start off as semi-reasonable, have one or two good seasons, during which you get to know the characters and all of the plot lines are at least somewhat realistic, and then things just escalate as the writers one-up each other's craziness and the viewers enjoy the ride. The more absurd, the better.

Model of a Crazy Show: One Tree Hill



One Tree Hill was reasonable and compelling for most of season 1, as two brothers raised on different sides of the track were forced to come to terms with their rivalry as they worked together toward the high school basketball championship title; their worlds collide, and relationship entanglements abound. Simple. Then, at the end of season 1, once all the natural conflict has been played out (note the spike in crazy on the graph)... SURPRISE! Nathan and Haley are married at sixteen! Then Haley becomes a pop star and goes on tour with Michelle Branch! And it's all CRAZY, all the time from there on out.

But those first few seasons- or at least, those first few episodes- of good TV before the crazy picks up are essential. Once we've gotten to know the characters and you've played out most of the conflict inherent in their relationships, by all means, Melrose Place, make Ashlee Simpson a probable psychopath, or the murdered chick's long lost daughter, or whatever. But if you're going to have a large cast and you want viewers to care about and empathize with them, even once they start hiring psychotic nannies and dating Nick Lachey (how I love thee, One Tree Hill), then you have to give us something to latch onto first. We need to know the characters in terms of their internal conflicts and enduring personality traits BEFORE the crazy starts.

Or at least, I do...

As previously established, I'm kind of obsessed with twitter. I started my account at Writing Castle last spring, and slowly, but surely, it's become the site I check second-most often (right under gmail). To celebrate my 1000th tweet, because I love marvelously even numbers, I give you Ten Things I've Posted on Twitter in the Past Week (a blog entry for people who don't use twitter).

Warning: I make no guarantees that these will be particularly INTERESTING things. Read on at your own risk.

Warning 2: Slight spoilers for Supernatural season premiere.


1. My need to write books from beginning to end extends to revising- the extent to which I cannot, cannot jump around is almost pathological.

2. @OfficiallyAlly- I just spent FOUR HOURS trying to get my opening paragraph right. *head desk*

3. Watching Top Model. So much crazy, so little time.

4. Vampire Diaries tv show, how I love thee. It's like watching early Dawson's Creek, but with VAMPIRES.

5. @SnarkyWench- I would say that PaceyVamp is Damon, whereas takes-himself-really-seriously DawsonVamp is Stefan.

6. Revision Diaries: Write a thousand words. Delete them. Write more words. Delete. Chapter 1, I abjure you. Rest of the book, call me.

7. Nobody can tell off an angel quite like Dean Winchester. "Cram it with walnuts, Ugly."

8. Spontaneous flu has subsided. @OfficiallyAlly, via email: "Hmmm... perhaps it was a man-cold, but being woman, you shook it."

9. An online thesaurus just told me that "monkey" is a synonym for "compulsion." I am skeptical.

10. I have a zillion extra color cartridges for my printer, but no black ones, so... what color should I make the ms I'm about to print out?

***

Re: #10- after consulting with Twitter, I went with purple.

Re: #9- Scott Westerfeld and several other twitter peeps pointed out that a monkey can be a compulsion only if it's on your back. So noted.

Re: #7- Towards the end of the Supernatural season premiere, post-walnuts, Dean started sounding exactly like Mal from Firefly. Am I alone in my thinking?

Re: #'s 1, 2, 6, and 10- Obviously, I've been revising this week.

Look, I haz opinions!

And also, clearly, I haven't had enough caffeine today, because I'm talking like an LOLcat, which only happens on the extreme ends of the Giant Bell Curve Of Caffeine Intake. I'll have to remedy that as soon as I finish this blog entry, or someone will probably smack me. So without further ado, some opinions.

Opinion the First: On Unholy Alliances

Normally, I am entirely in favor of unholy alliances, but this one kind of scares me. My roommate and good writing bud Ally Carter have an arrangement that Ally calls "declaring slap proxy." Which basically means that if Ally thinks that I'm obsessing over something I shouldn't be obsessing over, she tells Neha to smack me, and Neha does it. As funny as I think the phrase "slap proxy" is, I think I'm anti, especially because I don't have a slap proxy of my own, which means that Ally can live it up obsessing over whatever she wants in Oklahoma, and I have no means of retribution. Totally unfair!

Opinion the Second: On GLEE

I finally saw the pilot of GLEE, and I really, really liked it. I thought it was really, really good. But *lowers voice to a whisper, for fear of being stoned by Glee-lovers*, I didn't think it was the best thing in the history of the world ever. I liked it a lot, but I didn't love it. It's not the television show I'm most excited about for the fall. It's not even in my top five. It's funny and fun and had some seriously great moments, and I love Don't Stop Believing as much as the next girl, but everyone else is SO obsessed that I feel like I'm missing the magic somehow. Given my propensity for falling head-over-heels in love with TV shows, I find this seriously odd. But, there. I said it. I don't love GLEE- but I do like it quite a bit.

Opinion the Third: On CATCHING FIRE

This was another things that everyone else had spoken extremely highly of, and I put off reading it for fear of the Glee effect. My expectations were already so high, because I seriously loved The Hunger Games, and then everyone who had ARCs started saying that the sequel was just as good, and I flat out did not believe them. I knew in my heart of hearts that I would read it and be disappointed, even if it was fabulous, because it couldn't possibly affect me the way the first book did. I owned the book for an entire week before I read it. I read five other books while CATCHING FIRE was sitting there, just waiting for me to open up the pages and have my heart broken by either (a) the fact that it wasn't Hunger Games and therefore couldn't be as awesome, or (b) the fact that it was too much like Hunger Games and therefore wasn't as awesome.

And then I read it.

And it was amazing. I have no idea how it's possible for me to love the middle book in a trilogy this much, but it was a truly engrossing read. The first third of the book was a tiny bit slow for me, but only because I wasn't sure that it was going to speed up. In retrospect, even that pacing worked. I loved it. Loved, loved, loved.

Now I'll commence being terrified that I won't like book three.

Since people seemed to enjoy last week's picture post, here's another one, complete with the story behind the picture. Aforementioned story, which I think of as "The Tale of the Kitty Thieves" could also probably be subtitled "Why Jen Still To This Day Hates Going to the Doctor."

Once upon a time, when I was about three years old...

This is me at age 3. Pictured with me is my stuffed kitty, who plays a key role in this story

Once upon a time, when I was but a wee Jen, my parents were informed that I needed surgery. So I was whisked off to the local hospital. To prepare me for surgery, the medical team put me in some sort of sterile crib, which was in and of itself a bit of an insult, given that I considered three year olds to be above such contraptions. At the time, however, I had bigger things to concern myself with, such as the various strangers wearing face masks dancing around the edge of my crib like I was to be some sort of human sacrifice. I stared up at them, entranced by their medical voodoo, but ultimately concluded that I would be okay because my mom was there, and I had my trusty PoundKitty. I was, as I'm sure you can infer, the brave sort.

Then, the doctors told my mother she had to leave.

No, they didn't!

But alas, they did. My mother clearly didn't WANT to go, and she asked if she could stay until they put me under, but the doctors refused and bustled her out of the room under protest. Stalwart toddler though I was, I started crying, but I didn't completely lose it until the unthinkable happened. The medical team was about to put me under, and the nurses got it in their head that before they could do that, the kitty had to go. I clung tight to my companion, but they eventually managed to rip her none-too-gently out of my arms.

I would like you to guess how well that went over.

To this day, I am not sure I've ever been so pissed off in my life. First, they took my mommy. Then they took my kitty. Then they TRIED TO KNOCK ME UNCONSCIOUS so that they could CUT OPEN MY BODY. I was pretty sure they were murdering my kitty friend in the other room and that I was next.

As a result, there's a teeny tiny part of me that to this day can't help hearing "doctor" and implicitly registering that word as "kitty thief." And THAT is why I Still To This Day Avoids Doctors If At All Possible.

This weekend, I was riding in a car with a friend and her family, and we began discussing a common road trip situation: you're in the car, and you have to go to the bathroom. You see a super sketchy gas station bathroom on the side of the road, and have two choices, you either STOP and use it despite its sketchiness, and or you CONTINUE and hope there is a nicer bathroom shortly down the road. In my experience, the way this works out is that if you STOP, you will then discover a much nicer bathroom immediately after you use the sketchy one. If you do not stop, there will be no other bathrooms for a good forty miles.

This led my friend's spouse and I to coining the term "Schrödinger's Bathroom." Much like Schrödinger's Cat, the hypothetical bathroom exists in two states BEFORE you make the key decision. It is there, and it is not there, and it isn't until you decide whether or not to use the much sketchier pit stop that Schrödinger's Bathroom falls into a more determinate state (THERE if you don't need it, and NOT THERE if you do).

Okay, so scale of one to ten, how big of a geek does this conversation make me? I'm totally going for TEN.

Dear Make It Or Break It,

I just watched your season finale. You are officially my favorite freshman show from the past year. Gymnasts! Teen drama! Overcoming the odds! Adult drama! Emily's floor music! Kayley becoming spontaneously kick ass! Gymnastics drama! You rock (no pun intended).

Love,

Jen


***

Dear Charlaine Harris,

I've read all of your Aurora Teagarden mystery books, and all of your Harper Connelly books, and am now on book six of the Sookie Stackhouse series. Nobody does tragedy mixed with comedy mixed with adventure mixed with romance mixed with AWESOME quite like you.

-Jen

***

Dear Dad,

I love it when you send me texts at 2:30 in the morning because you're watching Dollhouse and a big twist just happened. If I have gotten you hooked on Joss Whedon, I have done something right in my life.

Love you,

Bear

***

Dear Blog Readers,

Yes. My parents call me "Bear." I am not ashamed!

-Jen

***

Dear altogetherisi,

Your "Firefly meets Princess Diary" pitch brought me much joy. Email me to claim your prize (a copy of The Squad: Perfect Cover, or Tattoo, your choice) at golden_or_non at yahoo dot come. Thanks to everyone else for playing along. You guys are the best.

-J

I'm going to leave the "X meets Y" contest open for one more day- I'll announce a winner (or winners) tomorrow. In the meantime, I really enjoyed melissa_writing's recent post where she shared some old family photos and was inspired to dig up a few of mine.

Me with my mother, the day I was born (or soon thereafter). To this day, my mom gets annoyed when she talks about how all of the nurses kept playing with my hair and trying to style it a la Pebbles Flintstone. The staff at the hospital swore I had the most hair of any newborn they'd ever seen (note to self: you might have big hair if...)

( Read more... )

And that's it for now. More next week if people so desire.

Oftentimes in publishing (or Hollywood, for that matter), you'll hear something described as "X meets Y." This was news to me, but quickly after I sold Golden, my editor at Random House started referring to it as "Mean Girls meets Charmed." And then Tattoo was "Buffy meets Traveling Pants." And by the time I wrote The Squad, the "meets" pitch actually ended up in the text, when Brooke describes the Squad operation as "Charlie's Angels meets Bring It On." When I was meeting with producers on The Squad, and I asked the interested parties to describe how they saw the project, every single one of them used that phrase.

Sometimes, I like to make up crazy combinations, just for fun. And occasionally, the combinations are crazy enough that I write a little on them, just to see if I can pull them off (reference: the time I wrote 30,000 words on a book that was, I kid you not, what you'd get if you stuck America's Next Top Model into a blender with Pirates of the Caribbean).

Now, my challenge to you, dear blog readers, is to make up the craziest *meets* you can think of and leave it in the comments, along with a one-sentence description of what the book would be about. I wasn't planning on this being a contest, but since I spent most of the first paragraph talking about The Squad, I'll offer up a copy of the first book in the series as a prize for the most amusing entry (if you want it- totally cool to play even if you don't want the book).

My Examples:

(I fear I should ask forgiveness for this first one ahead of times, so strong is my love for Hunger Games)

*Hunger Games meets Gossip Girl* Upper East siders fight to the death in post-apocalyptic NYC clubs.

*Fancy Nancy meets Where the Wild Things Are* A little girl who loves to play dress-up teaches the monsters under her bed to accessorize with style.

Trying to up the crazy ante a little...

*James Bond meets My Little Pony* Colorful, talking ponies... or international equines of mystery?

Okay, your turn!

Behold, the last two pictures I posted on twitter.

My Refrigerator


My To Be Read Pile

What I'm Reading: I just finished an ARC of The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place: The Mysterious Howling by Maryrose Wood, which is an incredibly charming and funny middle grade about a girl who, having graduated from the Swanburne Academy for Poor Bright Females, finds herself being offered a job as a governness to three very unusual children. To quote the back cover "Of especially naughty children, it is sometimes said, 'They must have been raised by wolves.' The Incorrigible children actually were." It's the first in a series, and I loved the characters, the voice, the humor, and the hint at an overarching mystery that has me waiting impatiently for future books. Highly recommended!

What I'm Watching: This weekend I went to see District 9 and (500) Days of Summer. Both were unusual and surprising and fresh in the way that they simultaneously fit into and defy their respective genres (District 9 inverts the typical "alien invasion" scenario; Summer is a romantic comedy without your standard HEA), but if I had to pick one, I'd pick (500) Days of Summer, which I thought was hilarious, realistic, unique, and all other manner of good things. I could go see it again right now; whereas, I don't think you could convince me to see District 9 again any time soon even with bribes. Don't get me wrong- it was GOOD, but I don't know that I'd classify it as enjoyable. It had definite moments of brilliance, but for me, the disturbing, meant to be disturbing, gross-you-out, make-you-physically-uncomfortable moments, while well-done and probably necessary for the way the story was told, made watching it a little too aversive at times.

What I'm Working On: Forewarning: science ahead! Right now, I'm tweaking a paper for a cognition journal on lemurs' ability to represent information about object kinds (ie when they see an object, do they classify it into a larger domain, or do they simply see a collection of visual properties?). Finishing the paper will feel really good, because I actually finished collecting the data FOUR YEARS AGO. Eep.

What I'm Writing: I'm playing around with an open-world urban fantasy (meaning everyone knows about the supernatural) with some very minor alternate history, dating back to Darwin's voyage on the Beagle. It's YA. It's got demon hunting. Is fun.

What I'm Revising: Among other things, I'm revising the TV pilot I wrote this summer. It's currently a serial drama, and I'm tweaking it to become more of a procedural comedy (meaning (a) making it funnier, and (b) giving it a more episodic structure, like a Supernatural, House, or Veronica Mars).

What I'm Excited About: The Smart Chicks Kick It tour next fall!

What I'm Eating: Shortly, the answer to this will be "Panera." Yummm...